Life-altering moments. Must they occur before we are able to see the error of our ways, a wakeup call pointing out gaps of time wasted, or that we have possibly been taking a loved one for granted- who no longer wishes to fill the role of complacency for you?
A very good friend of mine recently found himself in this position. A moment had come and gone in his life leaving his world chaotic and unfamiliar. How had this happened?
What could he do to fix it? There was no easy answer. It was much more complicated now and the simple phrase, “I can change” would no longer fix it. What were his options? Accept the situation, learn from it and move on, or fight harder than hell for what he wanted. Refusing to settle for the hand he was dealt or playing the role of the static character, he persisted on. “I can change” quickly turned into “watch me change.” Actions speak louder than words in my book. Girls are used to hearing the empty promises, exposing themselves to vulnerability, only to get slapped in the face with hurt and angst in the end.
**Digression: Why do girls love romantic comedies so much? Aside from the typically hot, shirtless guys casted, those men put themselves, their ego, their pride on the line; they risk everything to show, not tell the women how they feel. Are woman suckers for believing into the big romantic gestures/hype of those movies? Not at all, many women are suckers for not requiring it from their men in reality.
Back to this friend of mine, he figured it all out. In the past few months, I have had the privilege of listening and really hearing him evolve into the man he wants to be, the man he knows that she deserves. He put himself on the line to prove to the only girl he will ever want that she is everything to him, and he will do whatever it takes to prove that to her. Regardless of the outcome, I could not be more proud of my friend.
So my point is this, don’t let it come to the life-altering moment before you take note that there is a problem. Don’t be left heart-broken and in disbelief. Take control of the situation before it becomes unfixable. How do you know if this applies to you? Answer the following:
-Take a look back at the last 5 years of your life. What do you see? What has changed?
-How much have you accomplished, and grown as an individual, as a couple?
-Are you happy with the present picture in your mind? If so, congrats!! It’s a very gratifying feeling.
-If not, what are you going to do to change it?